


Olive and Violet

by mau_the_meow



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Angst, Eridan and Nepeta are the main focus, F/M, Flushed Romance | Matesprits, Hanahaki Disease, Mutual Hanahaki, Mutual Pining, One chapter's kinda a songfic???, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, Past Relationships, Pining, serious angst, the heteros™
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-07
Updated: 2017-12-07
Packaged: 2019-01-30 14:44:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 3,877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12655614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mau_the_meow/pseuds/mau_the_meow
Summary: Olive green. Nepeta Leijon. Flushed for Karkat Vantas.Violet. Eridan Ampora. Flushed for Nepeta Leijon.Eridan is in love with his best friend. She's chasing an unachievable dream. He knows he should be over her.Then why is he gagging up green petals?





	1. you're my world

**Author's Note:**

> This was a pain in the ass to write, but I'm proud of it. This is told through Eri's 2nd-person perspective.  
> I wrote this for a friend.  
> They dragged me into EriNep hell.

Your name is ERIDAN AMPORA, and you're in love with your best friend.  
This isn't the first time it's happened. First, you fell for your moirail, Feferi Peixes, but she left you for some pissblooded Captor. By god, you hate him. You'd give anything to sink your nails into his throat. But that isn't important. He's made it clear, your black feelings aren't returned.  
The second time, you had the brief beginnings of a flush crush on none other than Terezi Pyrope. She left you for your own kismesis, Vriska Serket. God, you hate them both. Not as much as Sollux, though.  
The third time, you didn't even bother. Aradia Megido wasn't exactly out of your league, rather you out of hers. Anyways, she had run off with the sweaty, awkward, clunky Zahhak.  
This is the fourth time you're in love with a friend. Nepeta Leijon has always been there for you, after all these "breakups", through thick and thin. She makes you smile, no matter what. Maybe this is why you love her. And- oh god- She's visiting this afternoon, isn't she?

Something wells up in your chest. You feel like you're going to be sick. A cough later, and there's a pile of olive flowers at your feet, in your hands, petals on your face. You feel disgusting. They keep welling up in your throat, tears in your eyes. You don't know what to do. Maybe Nepeta can help? She knows what to do in these kinds of situations.

You spend the rest of the day hurling up petals in the sink, wondering why this is happening to you.

 

When Nepeta finally arrives, your face is covered in petals and pollen. Tearstains run down your cheeks. Nepeta looks worried. "Oh my gosh! Eridan! Are you ok? What is all that?" She's frantic, pointing out your face and the flowers. "Come inside, Nep." You mumble. The two of you sit down, your friend still concerned. "I'vve been gaggin up flowwers all day. They're all caught in my throat. I don't knoww wwhy." You manage to stutter out, hacking another flower out. Nepeta gasps. "Eridan, I know this. It's Hanahaki Disease, you get it furom loving someone who doesn't love you back. You can die from it!"  
But you don't hear the last part.  
Your crush is one-sided, as usual. Only this time, you can die.  
Nepeta purrs, rubbing against your side. You pet her, as though she were a housecat. She begins to meow, eyes closing, as she lays on your lap. More flowers escape your mouth.  
You wish you could tell you how you feel.  
But you know she doesn't love you.  
After all, who could?


	2. I'm Not The One

You must have fallen asleep. Nepeta wakes you up, pretty much treating you like a wriggler. She keeps a trash can by you at all times, in case you keep gagging up green flowers.  
They’re her blood color.  
She hasn’t noticed.

She stays by your side at all times, and you admire her. For looks, and attitude toward this whole fuckup. You love her even more for that.  
More petals escape your lips.

\---------

Nepeta Leijon has had her share of romantic problems. She’s flushing for a troll who would never return her feelings; Karkat Vantas. The thorn in most people’s side. Loud, foul-mouthed troll with a knack for fucking things up.  
You think so, anyway.  
You happen to know that Karkat is flushed for none other than Terezi Pyrope, your previous crush. Nepeta seems to think she has a chance. It’s adorable, really. It’s hopeless. She doesn’t seem to mind the fact he would never like her. But you do.  
You wish she could see that.  
More olive petals escape your lips, making you gag. Tears start to run down your cheeks, a combination of the feelings and flowers. Nepeta’s by your side, petting you, whispering sweet and calming things. You don’t hear them. All you can think of is how heartbroken she’s going to get. Karkat hates her. But you love her. But she loves Karkat.  
It’s a classic love triangle.  
You wish it weren’t.

Nepeta Leijon is perfect to you. As she strokes your back like you were a cat, you make a mental list of everything you love about her.  
She’s kind to everyone, no matter what.  
She’s strong, physically and emotionally. You’ve never seen her cry.  
She’s a little lonely, a little unsure, a little nervous, all under the aura she gives off. You two are more alike than you would have guessed originally.  
To you, everything about her is perfect.  
You wonder what she thinks about you.

More gagging and crying later, the flow of petals seems to have subsided. Nepeta has just finished saying something. You look at her, dazed and mildly confused. “Huh?”  
She rolls her perfect, sparkling eyes. “I said…. Well, you know how I f33l about Karcat. I’m kinda red, y’know?” You nod. She continues. “Anyway… I was gonna tell him. Or ask him out. Do you think I should? I mean, he might reject me… But that purrobably won’t happen. Right?” Nepeta looks at you with pleading eyes.  
You manage a weak smile, the smile interrupted by another stream of pollinated hell. Nepeta strokes your back as you retch.  
“Of course! Nep, I couldn’t see wwhy anyone wwouldn’t like you. You’re an amazing girl! If he rejects you, he’s missin out on somethin… Beautiful. And amazin. If you wwant to, go ahead. Ask him out, Nep. I believve in you.” You smile through yet another bout of retching. Nepeta smiles a bit, continuing her ritual of babying you.  
You feel slightly better now. At least you know Nepeta might be happy. That thought brings another tear to your eye. Nepeta nuzzles against you. “I think I’m gonna go ask him. You gonna be okay on your own?” She asks, looking even more nervous. You brush her statement off. “I’m gonna be fine. It’s only been a day, hasn’t it? I’m not dyin anytime soon, Nep.” You manage to smile, stroking her head.  
You barely keep an “I lovve you” inside.

Nepeta, after making sure everything is okay, and that you’re feeling fine, bids you good-bye. You watch as she leaves your hive, eyes following until she’s out of sight. You sigh and collapse on the couch, closing your eyes.

A small ding awakens you. Well, a ding and more flowers. On your husktop, you see a message from _her._ Nepeta Leijon.

**AC: :33 < eridan?**

**AC: :33 < please. i need to talk to you**

**CA: yeah nep im here**

**CA: wwhats the matter**

**AC: :33 < well...**

**AC: :33 < I was asking Karcat if he’d want to go on a date...**

**AC: :33 < and... well...**

**AC: :33 < *ac sniffles, dragging her sl33ve across her eyes***

**AC: :33 < he said he was already going with someone**

**CA: oh no**

**CA: nep dont cry**

**AC: :33 < *ac tears up, tightly hugging ca***

**AC: :33 < icant help it**

**CA: im so sorry nep**

**CA: kars such a douche**

**CA: you deservve better**

 

You slap yourself. That sounded perverted and awful. You sound like a douche.

 

**AC: :33 < *ac bristles, pulling away furom the hug* **

**AC: :33 < i know he doesn’t like me like that, but I still really love him**

**AC: :33 < and he’s the best fur me**

**AC: :33 < I think **

**CA: nep**

**CA: wwhat matters most is that youre happy**

**CA: kar or no kar no matter what**

**CA: i wwant you to be happy**

**AC: :33 < *ac sighs, looking ca in the eyes***

**AC: :33 < i guess... well, maybe**

**CA: maybe wwhat**

**AC: :33 < can I come fur a visit?**

**CA: you dont need to ask that**

**CA: youre alwways welcome**

**AC: :33 < .....**

**AC: :33 < thanks Eridan**

 

**arsenicCatnip ceased trolling caligulliusAquarium.**

 

You sigh, leaning back in your chair. Now you’re both heartbroken.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOW THE ACTUAL F U C K DO YOU COLOR TEXT  
> ITS DRIVING ME CRAZY BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW AND I WANT THIER CHATS COLORED  
> AND IN THE CORRECT FONT  
> AAAAAAAAAAAAAH  
> AAAAAAAAAAAAH


	3. Words Fail

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eridan has a mental breakdown.

A day has passed. Nepeta still isn’t back with you.You’re lonely.

Pining.

That’s the word.

Scenarios start to run through your head. You imagine yourself and Nepeta, alone and in love, like giddy teenagers. You kiss her. She smiles. More kisses, more giggles.

You’re pining. You can’t help it.

You imagine the two of you out, together, on a kind of human date. This time, she kisses you.

Now, the two of you are watching the sunset on your beach. The blazing ball of fire cascades across the waves, tinting the water and her skin orange. She looks like an angel.

You’re in love.

You’re pining.

These aren’t creepy fantasies.

At least, you hope not.

You awake to the sound of knocking. “Oh fuck,” you think, “howw long has she been there?” You jump up, puking up a few more flowers on the way to the door. Nepeta stands there, looking surprised. “Hey. How you holding up?” She smiles.

_ That damn smile… _

You set her in, crossing your arms. “I oughtta ask the same. You feelin okay?” You’re trying to be nice, but she starts crying again.

“Nep… C’mere.” You envelope her in a tight hug. She cries into your cape and you pet her, letting her cry. After a few minutes, she pulls away. Streaks of olive cover her cheeks.

She’s still gorgeous.

You couldn’t love her more.

The next thing you know, you’re leaning forward, your lips on hers. Nepeta’s eyes widen, and she pushes you away.

It takes no time to realize what you’ve done. You jump away, running up to your room.

 

You can never face Nepeta Leijon again.

A flood of olive escapes your lips.

  
  


You’re alone with your thoughts, tears streaming down your face.

_ “I can’t believe myself.” _

_ “This has gone too far.” _

_ “It’s a mess. You’re a mess.” _

_ “I can’t say anything to her now.” _

_ “You can’t face her. Sorry won’t cut it.”  _

Words are failing you.

“ _ I can’t believe I thought she would like me back.” _

_ “So what if you never felt love? You sure as fuck won’t now.” _

_ “I still love her. She was my friend. I let her down.” _

You punch yourself in the stomach. Tears are falling down your cheeks in waterfalls, their pale violet mixing with the green of the flowers. 

Her beautiful, beautiful color.

_ “That’s not a good explanation, you fucking idiot!” _

_ “Nothing can make sense of what you just did.” _

_ “I hate myself!” _

_ “ _ _ Th _ _ ere's nothing I can say to her. Ever.” _

_ “This was just a fake, sad invention to get someone to like you. You idiot! It would never have worked!” _

_ “Nothing between us was ever real. Even if I was happy.” _

_ “Maybe I just didn’t want to let that go…” _

_ “So I let her go.” _

Someone knocks on your door. You don’t respond, more tears flowing from your eyes.

_ “I just wanted to believe. I couldn’t see what was really there.” _

_ “ _ _ No, I'd rather pretend I'm something better than this broken, desperate prince.” _

_ “Just pretend I'm something other than this mess that I am.” _

_ “'Cause then I don't have to look at it, and no one gets to look at it! At this dumb fucking mistake I made! You fucking screw up!” _

A guttural cry escapes your lips. You land another punch to your stomach.

_ “I’ve led with the worst of me. I NEVER let them see the worst of me.” _

_ “Oh god, what if she tells someone?” _

_ “They’d all hate me even more.” _

_ “I’d just keep on running away from everything. All I ever do is run.” _

_ “I have to make this right. I have to clear it up.” _

A soft knock sounds at your door.    
“Eridan? Are you in there?” You hear her voice.   
You don’t answer.

You just choke on more pollen.

God, you hate flowers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kinda based on Words Fail from DEH?  
> I dunno


	4. I Dreamed A Dance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was rlly fuckin short  
> oh well  
> next chapter's gonna be longer I promise

“Eridan... I’m sorry.”  
That gets you up, you open the door, petals in your wake. Nepeta takes one look at your tear-stained face and hugs you tight.   
The petals don’t stop.   
You guess she truly doesn’t love you. 

\------

She bids you good-bye after another hour of babying. After she’s out of sight, more tears escape your eyes, more cries from your mouth. She left you.   
She left you.  
You should’ve expected this. You should’ve known she wouldn’t like you.   
More flowers escape your throat, silencing your screams.

Now, you’re with her. Lying side-by-side on the beach, turning to each other, smiling like head-over-heels teenagers. You kiss her, she kisses you, you hold her close, she mewls…

You two are in her hive. Adding a new ship to her wall. It dominates the entire Redrom area. You two, kissing. Surrounded by red hearts. Nepeta adds a “:33< canon!” underneath the drawing. You laugh and peck her cheek. 

Nepeta is draped in your arms. You hold her tightly, covering her face in kisses, petting her as though she were a housepet. Her green eyes sparkle, meeting your violet ones.   
Green was always such a soothing color.  
It goes so well with purple.

Next thing you know, you’re doubled over in pain. Your stomach feels like it’s being torn apart.  
Your eyes well up with tears. You let out a scream. Violet blood trickles from your lips, flowing from a wound in your chest. Blue tips emerge from it.

You scream, bolting upright. Coughing, you regain your senses.  
Oh, fuck. It was just a nightmare.   
Thank fuck.  
You make your way over to the washroom, splashing freezing-cold saltwater in your face. That clears your head. You shudder, taking a gulp of the water to calm the cottony-feeling inside of your mouth.  
Wait.  
Why aren’t you spewing flowers?


	5. Morning Glow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is possibly the shortest ive done  
> yet  
> next one's probs gonna be like one sentence tbh

**caligulasAquarium began trolling arsenicCatnip.**

 

**CA: hey nep**

**CA: im sorry about yesterday**

**CA: i dont knoww wwhat came ovver me**

**AC: :33 < *ac purrks up, smiling at her seahorsey furriend* hey, its ok! Dont beat yourself up ofur it.**

**CA: i just feel really awwful**

**AC: :33 < eridan, dont. Im sorry too. I was a jerk.**

**CA: no youre not**

**CA: but thats not wwhat i wwanted to talk about**

**AC: :33 < hmm?**

**CA: so i fell asleep**

**CA: and wwhen i wwoke up**

**CA: i mean i felt like shit but im not gaggin up flowwers**

**AC: :33 < …**

**AC: :33 < so youre ofur it?**

**CA: i dunno**

**CA: howw do you cure it?**

**AC: :33 < its eifur oppurration or having the purrson return your f33lings**

**AC: :33 < i dont know what happened then...**

**CA: wwell that explains it**

**CA: thanks nep**

 

**caligulasAquarium ceased trolling arsenicCatnip.**

 

Huh. You guess that kiss did the trick.

Maybe she likes you back?

 

A familiar sensation wells up in your throat.

Maybe it didn’t.

This time, the olive petals are wilted.


	6. He Used To Be Mine

After some research, you’ve found a way to cure this… Hanahaki. Nepeta obviously doesn’t return your feelings, so you guess an operation is the way to go. You have to admit, you’re not too keen on having someone tear into your lungs and taking the flowers out. Along with flowers, the feelings will be removed, too. You figure that isn’t the worst bargain.

It means you get to be happy.

It's already been three days since you began gagging. You know you’re going to die if you keep this up. Already, it’s getting harder to breathe, and no amount of retching can uproot the flowers.

You push away from your computer, stretching.

It’s been too long since you’ve been in the water.

You need to go for a swim.

 

A few minutes later, jewelry and cape to the side, you dive into the sea. Your hive is right on top of one of the most beautiful coral reefs you’ve ever seen. Small fish, not just cuttlefish, scurry between the rough blades of pink, blue, and green.

You love it.

Nepeta would love it. You’re sure of it.

Maybe when you’re friends again, you can take her here.

You shake your head. It’s not the time to think of that.

Gills flaring, you maneuver your way down to the sea floor. Once again, there’s garbage piled up on your reef.

“Filthy landdwwellers”

You sigh, cleaning up as much as you can to make this beautiful. Some of the fish come up and poke at you, like you’re not a stranger, but a friend. “Hey, little guys.” You grin, running your fingers along the back of a pristine white cuttlefish. It nuzzles your hand. More sea creatures gather around you. A little crab snaps at your shoes.

They’re cute, really.

You love your ocean.

After a minute of playing with the creatures, you notice something.

A beautiful school of fish, their scales a shimmering olive. Exploring a tall piece of violet coral.

Flowers float from your throat to the surface.

 

You have to get rid of this.

 

——————————————————

 

Nobody is willing to help. They’d rather kill you. You have no where else to turn, but him. Your former crush’s mate.

Her moirail.

 

“Eq, I need your help.” Those five words already startle the sweaty lowblood. He stares dead-eyed at you, looking nervous. “I don’t usually ask people like… you. But hey, I need you… fuck. Do you knoww about Hanahaki Disease?”

Equius looks even more awkward and clunky. “Yes. Nepeta has told me quite a bit about it, and how you have appeared to have contracted it. I have done research, and the only way to cure it is through an operation… or the other returning your feelings. Highb100d? What does this entail?”

You fight the urge to hit the masochistic weirdo.

“Fuck. NO! I need you to get these flowwers out of my lungs! Cut em out, it’s been days! Fuck it, I’m going to die! Help me out here!” You groan, slapping your forehead. 

“Eridan, I can help, but you do know that I could harm you? I can harm or potentially kill you. My strength could botch this whole thing. Highb100d… you could die.”

You sigh. “I am dyin. That’s wwhy I’m…” You shudder at your own words. “Orderin you. Get these fuckin flowwers outta my goddamn lungs.”

The blueblood troll nods, looking even more shocked and sweaty, his face the color of his disgusting blood. “As you command, Highb100d.” With that, he pats your head, just soft enough to knock you out.

 

——————————————————

 

You never expected to wake up on the table of possibly the worst, weirdest lowblood you know. He watches over you, sweating, holding a bowl of something. You feel your chest. Bold blue stitches line it, and when you sit up, you hiss in pain. “Fuck… Eq, wwhat did you do?” Equius holds out the bowl. “I am sorry, Highb100d. I did not mean to harm you. But here are the flowers. I thought you might want to keep them.”

You take it. Olive-colored flowers line the bowl, some wilted, some just petals, some covered in pollen. You feel disgusting, looking at what was previously in your lungs. It’s…

Freeing.

Sure, you no longer feel any kind of love for Nepeta, but it feels great to not be gagging. You turn to Equius. “Howw can I repay you?”

He looks threatening, standing to be above you.

“Stay away from Nepeta. Do not make any more red advances. She is my moirail. Only mine.”


	7. Dissociate

A strangled sound escapes your throat as you attempt to shove the lowblood away. “Wwhat the fuck? I can’t feel anythin for her anymore, dumbass. That’s the point of surgery anywway! Wwhy do you care?”  
Equius glares at you, his stature menacingly looming over your small form.   
That was a stupid thing to say.   
Fuck.  
You push past the profusely sweating troll, knocking over the flower bowl in the process. You pick up the ends of your cape and run as far from him as possible, the stitches pounding against your chest painfully.

—————————————————————

It seems like hours before you reach your hive, collapsing on your couch to breathe and calm down.   
Ugh.   
You feel disgusting.   
Pollen and petals are still jammed in your windpipe. You burst into random bouts of coughing every so often, which makes your throat throb, even more so the stitches.

You lay on the couch, silently moaning over your misery. It hurts, but only outwardly. Inwardly, you feel really... nothing. No more sorrow, no more pining for a love that will never exist.   
At least you’re no longer on the edge of death.

You’ve already messaged Nepeta, telling her that you’re cured. She seemed quite happy for you, and talked to you cheerfully as if nothing “red” had happened between you. Equius had told her, you found out.

It’s kind of strange, not feeling the familiar tug in your gut whenever you see the olive-green text show up. But you have to admit, it is nice. On the brightest side, Nepeta Leijon is happy.   
To you, that’s all that matters.

As you lay on your back, the darkness of the outside and your room sinking in, you think. Mostly about romance.   
When and if you’re going to fall in love next.   
Mostly if.   
Who would it be?  
Hell if you know.

You let out a dramatic sigh, your fingers running through your violet streak. A small, cheerful “ding!” Sounds from your husktop.   
You ignore it.   
Three more dings follow, then a thumping noise. Whoever was messaging you is now offline.   
You don’t mind.

—————————————————————

Your name is NEPETA LEIJON, and everything was fine until a day ago.

You were happy, you see, so happy! It was a relief to hear Eridan was no longer close to death. You had already spent too much time re-reading your old messages and rps, just in case. But it turns out, Equius fixed him!  
Eridan has seemed cheerful lately. A bit unlike himself, but you feel glad for him now. He can move on, and find someone who loves him, true, deep red love!

Your shipping wall already has a whole section for Eridan. Pitch with Sollux (Sadly non-canon), Pale with Feferi (Ruined), Ashen with Kanaya and Sollux (Sollux wouldn’t agree to that if his life depended on it), possibly Pitch or Pale with Karkat (No way!), and... Red with you.

You push your husktab away, scratching your head as you stare at the wall. A bright red heart surrounds your drawing, with a question mark by the side. A (No way!) used to be there, but... Hey, things change. New feelings arise.

A shiver runs through your body at the word “feelings.” Your chest tightens and your throat constricts, almost like you’re about to cry or cough. Your stomach turns like you’re about to puke. You collapse on a fur pile, your head accidentally smashing against the wall of your cave. You hiss, clenching a fist and pound your chest with it, coughing furiously. A final choke, and... something is expelled from your throat. You examine what you at first think is a hairball, but...  
It turns out to be flowers.   
Bright, violet petals taunt you.   
You feel like you’re going to be sick.

**arsenicCatnip began trolling caliguliusAquarium.**

**AC: :33 < eridan?**   
**AC: :33 < eridan, please **   
**AC: :33 < i n33d to talk to you**   
**AC: :33 < .......**

**arsenicCatnip ceased trolling caliguliusAquarium.**

You push back your husktab, more violet petals spilling across its screen.   
Olive tears stream down your face, cheerfully light petals and pollen clinging to your charcoal-colored lips.

Your name is NEPETA LEIJON, and you’re in love with your best friend.

A crush that will go unrequited.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unresolved angst  
> This is never getting a sequel tbh

**Author's Note:**

> This chapter was really short  
> The others will be longer I swear


End file.
